2 Not Being God Is Hard
Hikaru Yamamoto was a second-year-high-school student at the Toyama High School of Fukuoka. She was a beauty among beauties, a red flower and a symbol of elegance, the morning star of the world's sky which shines through the black clouds of night and enlightens everyone in her way.
But even with the existence of a beautiful moon come the light and the essence of the sun.
Exactly at the same grade and age, exactly at the same high school and classroom, there existed another beauty along with her, the compilation of all kinds of beauty on this earthen planet.
He was Giichi Takahashi.
Because of his beauty, many people including girls and boys had fallen in love with him. Besides, something was special about him. His charisma would be sensible for everyone when they encountered with him. His presence would always change the air to an extraordinary atmosphere.
It's hard to explain the feeling which one would have when he or she met him, but it was absolutely a pleasurable one. Without a doubt, it was so much bracing.
Because of that, all of his classmates have been fighting for a seat alongside him from primary school until now.
Noburo — who was at the same class as Giichi and Hikaru — always wished to have a little bit of their beauty. He was quite tall compared to people around him, though he was special for himself since his intelligence had been unrivaled.
He was the childhood friend of Giichi, and they had an intimate relationship. He would never have "that" kind of feelings toward him since he was a homophobe, though he'd always praise his beauty.
Incidentally, he had feelings for Hikaru; like all other male students of this high school.
The number of people who claimed to love her was enormous.
Noburo was thinking about these kinds of stuff while walking toward the school. Meantime, he could see other students in his way too.
He would always prefer to walk from house to school; hence, he tried to wake up sooner than usual to not arrive late.
After like ten or fifteen minutes, he could finally see Toyoma High School.
However, when he turned around for a moment and looked at his back, he saw a car becoming closer and closer over time until he could clearly see what was inside of it.
His eyes sent the light of excitement like they had found something as precious as a treasury.
No... that was even more valuable than pure gold.
"I see... so beauty is hereditary," Noburo mumbled.
Giichi was inside of the car, while a goddess was driving it. There was no doubt, she was his mother.
Noburo had heard about her; after all, he was Giichi's childhood friend. Even with this fact, he hadn't been honored to meet the mistress yet. He heard she works as an airline hostess; therefore, she can't spend much time with her family.
Finally, he could see the car surpassing him with incredible speed. There was still a great amount of distance between him and the school. It was obvious that the goddess was bringing Giichi to school herself, so that meant...
"I won't give up," he shouted, "wait for me my goddess, I'm coming!!"
His eyes were precisely following the car while his legs were running like a rabbit toward the same direction simultaneously.
Unfortunately — or maybe, fortunately — he wasn't able to make it through. When he arrived in front of the school, there was no trace of her, not anymore.
He couldn't even find out Giichi in that crowd of students.
As he was gasping for air and blaming himself for not running faster, a light voice — coming from behind him — could be heard:
When he turned to look who this voice belonged to, he could see a girl with short black hairs and an average height behind himself. Her left hand held a black briefcase, and her right hand was fixing her round glasses on its place.
She was Sakura Watanabe. Sakura also had great talent and was brilliant at her grades, just like Noburo, although she was more intellectual in real life issues.
"You truly deserve the title of pervert runner!" Sakura teased.
"I'm not a pervert," Noburo replied calmly as his hand was adjusting his glasses, "I just know how to praise beauty!"
"Yeah, then you're a pervert."
"No, I told you, I know how to admire the true beauty!"
"No, you're a pervert."
"Huh..." Noburo sighed.
"Did you just admit you're a pervert right now?"
"What? No!" Noburo exclaimed.
"Yes, you did."
Sakura's face didn't show any kind of emotion, just a serious look with nothing leaking out of her mind through her expressions. It was impossible to read anything even with carefully seeing her face.
Instead, anyone could read his thoughts — Noburo's — by looking at those two eyes of him.
"Do you really think you can make me upset by the repetition of the word 'pervert' like that time?"
While Noburo was waiting for an answer, she didn't say anything in response.
Unlike before, her eyes weren't focused on Noburo; instead, they were looking for something in the crowd of students.
"I... I..." Sakura mumbled.
Noburo didn't know what was wrong with her. Her face appeared as same as before; not even the slightest bit of change could be seen, although her voice was shaking a bit.
"I-it's... Giichi-san..." Sakura excitingly said as she was holding her skirt down. She then lowered her head.
After a few seconds, when she raised her head again, it seemed totally obvious. Her cheeks were red. No, her whole face had become red.
Noburo looked surprised at first, but when he thought about it, he realized it was quite normal. It's a normal reaction when a girl sees Giichi Takahashi. Since he himself had the same feeling toward Hikaru, he could fully understand Sakura.
"Alright, it's time, let's hurry," Noburo noted.
Sakura nodded with that excited face of hers; it was hard for her to go back to normal after seeing him.
Because of the number of students, not everyone noticed he's walking among them. But after a little time, anyone knew he's here.
"H-he is... just as they say."
"Yeah, he's a real angel!"
"I... I can't help myself..."
"No one can..."
"Beauty is a lethal weapon; it seems..."
"It's not just that, can you feel it too?"
"Yeah... I can sense it..."
Those words had been filling the space of high school's corridor. Anyone would be attracted by the charm of him. In a world without any magical power, the only valid answer to this is:
"He is the best of humanity."
"As if there would be any other answer."
"Yeah, that should be it."
♦ ♦ ♦
"What's wrong with these people?" mumbled the boy who was walking in the corridor.
He had blue eyes on his narrow and thin face. Although his chin wasn't well-fitted according to his slim neck, still it had given a feature to his face and had made it really attractive. His black hairs also had a great part in showing his beauty even more than normal.
"They are acting weird. Is there something wrong with my appearance?" he thought.
The boy really didn't know why those eyes had been concentrated on him for that while, but it wasn't that he would give so much attention to them; he could simply ignore them.
"Anyway, I should be able to keep acting like humans as long as I got his memories."
The body which was walking in the corridor without a doubt belonged to Giichi Takahashi. However, what inhabited inside of it, wasn't him at all.
God — the creator of the world and the Lord of the Heavens and Earth — was right there.
What many people would consider as immortal, was now limited in a mortal form.
As for why he decided to act like Giichi, it was because he had no other choice to follow. If he wanted to be honest with himself, he would say something like: "I don't know what to do." or "what can I do in a situation like this?".
Hope is an illusion; he knew it better than anyone in this world. He was the creator of the hope after all, as for the despair.
So now that he couldn't do anything, now that he didn't have the capability to follow through some plans to change this poor situation of his, at least he could accept his current self and just give up. There's no difference between a pointless struggle and doing nothing since both of them bring you to the same result and the end.
He had to be grateful that he didn't act crazily in front of that woman or anyone else; it was a good thing that he controlled his human emotions. Even though he was in this body for less than thirty minutes, he had learned many things.
During this time, he made three rules for himself to follow:
—Always remain calm no matter what happens.
—Keep acting as this boy while you can.
—Try to search for information to find out anything useful.
It's right that he decided to accept the current situation, but still, it didn't mean he was going to give up forever. That was why the third rule existed. He still could have hope for the future, though not for the present time.
Incidentally, the ignorance is the worst enemy. As for right now, it's his only and most powerful enemy, since he absolutely doesn't know what is happening in the world. He doesn't even know how he has ended up like this, but as he has repeated this all over again for himself, he should stop thinking about it.
"The more I think with this imperfect and defective brain of humans, the sooner I will become insane."
Yes, thinking makes people insane. That was what he had reached with "thinking". But still humans are mortal, so none of them can run from death or insanity as nothing is eternal in this incomplete world.
He was considering those opinions in his head while at the same time walking toward the class. He knew where he should be going since he had it in his memories.
After he had got to the school lockers, he opened it with the key he had. He picked up a pencil bag and brought some books out of his backpack to put them there. Many other things could also be seen in it, various books and notebooks, also a mirror stuck on inside level of it.
While he was using his recollections to figure out if there is something which Giichi Takahashi should do right now, he didn't find anything. So, it would be better to not touch any unnecessary objects in the locker.
After doing everything that Giichi Takahashi should have done, he decided to enter the intended class and sat on his seat.
Again, he could read the same expression on their face as other students in the corridor.
"What is wrong with them?" he thought.
While female students would become more excited by seeing him, male ones also felt the excitement and showed it through their look, although it was less.
Meantime, seeing familiar faces in the classroom gave a relaxation to him.
New students would always have terrible with new situations and new people since it needed time to get used to it.
But Giichi knew every single one of them; he was a second-year student at this school so there was no problem like that for him.
When he sat on his usual place, an unexpected silhouette caught his eyes; it belonged to a girl. She entered the classroom with an attractive way of walking. While keeping her light smile, she was keeping her eyes fixed in the same direction.
Suddenly, she moved her head for a moment. Those long black hairs forthwith moved through the air because of it.
Some voices filled the atmosphere of the classroom simultaneously. One could say that deed of her caused others to send those inappropriate sounds.
The most excited person was a tall boy with a square-shaped glasses on his face. He had a lengthy visage with tanned skin. Those longish ears of him were truly abnormal in humankind.
His mouth widened as though it would fill his whole face if the situation continued like that.
Giichi knew who he was, his childhood friend, Noburo Okamoto.
He was so intelligent and truly brilliant, though his appearance wasn't something that people would admire or praise. It wouldn't be considered normal either, for most of the people it appeared to be odd.
But what had amazed him wasn't those reactions, it was that there had been no sign of her in Giichi Takahashi's memories until then; like she had come from nowhere.
He knew the students of this class; he knew the name of every teacher and their appearances. But... but still, he didn't have even slightest information about this girl.
Considering he didn't have any clue about it, still, the best option was to wait. It seemed possible that this girl was a transfer student. Hence, normally there would be no trace of her in his memories.
Notwithstanding, he couldn't explain the feeling he gained with looking at her. Something didn't sound right with her; humans couldn't give him this feeling. What was it? Maybe it was another human emotion that he has yet to understand?
When he was considering those thoughts, the girl started to move toward him. Meantime, everyone greeted her immediately.
"Hey, how is your morning Hikaru?"
In response, Hikaru raised her hand and made her smile a bit wider. Her eyes also had become closed instinctively.
She was truly cute. Anyone would claim that when watching this expression of her.
"Hiii! Thanks, everyone!" Hikaru gently responded.
With seeing the looks on the other students' face, he was assured this girl is not a new student in this high school. Since they knew her name, it was really hard to say anything else.
"Is it possible that it's what humans call 'forgetfulness'? No, it's not possible. It's truly impossible to forget a person like her. She's in the center of the attention, how can someone forget her? So that's not the case... Giichi must have known her..."
He couldn't reach any conclusion by those thoughts, thus this girl remained mysterious for him.
Giichi knew Hikaru was coming to him; therefore, he readied himself for replying to whatever she wanted to say.
"Hey, Giichi-kun!" Hikaru said as she stopped in front of him. She still had that cute look on her face.
"As I thought, so she must have been in Giichi's memories... But why can't I remember her?" he thought as he looked at her. He couldn't express those words to her, so he tried to answer her greeting with a greeting.
"Hi, Hikaru," he replied patiently.
Because he had no memories of this girl, he didn't know how Giichi would act toward her. He wasn't aware of what kind of expression he would put on while talking with her, or even what words to choose for greeting her. This ignorance of him would bring trouble if others found out a difference in his attitude.
He could just have hope for things to go alright, everything else was beyond his ability; ignorance was truly an overpowered enemy for him.
Fortunately, after saying "hi" to Hikaru, everything went all right. No change occurred on anyone's face as Hikaru sat on the seat near him afterward.
"So she's even sitting this close to me," he thought, "how can I forget someone this close to myself? No, that's not it, obviously, something's wrong."
For a moment, another thought came to his mind. It so much attracted him that he didn't give any other attention to those strange looks of other students.
"If it's just something with this girl, I must have all other memories except those ones from her. But, what if it has nothing to do with her? It's also quite probable to think after coming to this body, something has happened to this kid's memories. Maybe some certain parts of his memory have been erased? If that's not the case, then what else is it? There is also another question... Why? Why should his memories vanish? But if it's the case, then I should be careful. There might be other things which I don't remember... it's truly trou—"
A sound abruptly interrupted his thinking. The class had already been started.
"Quiet everyone!" said an old man with a long white mustache.
After hearing that, all of the students began to stop sending voice and sat down on their seats. As expected, the silent ruled over the place.
This voice belonged to Mr. Yagami, the calculus teacher.
His memories about him were so much clear. He could say Giichi had been thinking about him for a long time; he didn't know why, though.
He had dressed formally. After tightening his red necktie and adjusting his round glasses, he began to cough and start speaking again.
"Alright, open the page number 124 of your book," he softly said, with a tone more gentle than before, "also bring up your homework."
That last sentence triggered Giichi's instinct. The great ruler of the world didn't get what this sense wanted to tell him, but after searching for Giichi Takahashi's memories he found it out.
He hadn't done his homework.
With thinking more about it, Giichi didn't seem like a person who would give much attention to his lessons. It was his opinion about Giichi Takahashi.
He was assured about it when those black eyes turned toward him. Mr. Yagami was in front of him with that usual scary expression on his face.
"Have you forgotten to do your homework again?" Yagami said as he was keeping that angry look.
The word "again" at the end gave him a feeling of anxiety and hope at the same time. The sense of anguish was for getting punished due to the repetition of Giichi's actions. But hope could still be found, it was coming from expecting Mr. Yagami to ignore him as always since he had been doing so. Therefore, it could be something normal for Giichi to not do his homework and be ignored completely.
"Eh... Y-yes..." Giichi replied worriedly.
Mr. Yagami sighed after hearing that from Giichi's mouth.
A feeling of disappointment could be read on his face by looking at it.
Thereafter, he raised his right hand toward Giichi while holding an object with it.
It was a marker.
He wanted Giichi to get it and walk toward the whiteboard.
Giichi Takahashi stood up, he got the marker from Mr. Yagami's hand and did what he was supposed to do.
After searching through his recollections to find the same occurrence like this, he figured out what he has to do next.
"Alright Mr. Takahashi, please solve the fourth question of today's homework." Yagami said as he was still walking on the floor for checking other students' homework.
He knew it would happen; that always had been happening to this boy. It was not that he couldn't solve the question; the problem was the question itself.
In every calculus homework which Mr. Yagami would give to his students, existed an unsolvable question. There were two purposes for this; first was to tell the students that nobody is perfect and thus a thorough result can never happen. The second was to give it to everyone who hadn't finished the homework to solve it during the class.
It was truly mean.
Nobody was that much carefree to not finish the calculus homework before going to the class, except Giichi of course.
No matter how many times he had faced this scene, still he would have continued to run from his responsibilities.
And to be honest, he wouldn't face any punishment which could change his attitude. He had no pride; he could simply stand there and say "I don't know".
However, it was completely different for the ruler of the universe who was the wisest being in the world.
Acknowledging his ignorance is what he can never do. He would never confess such thing to other beings around him. Letting others know him stupid is completely unacceptable.
He knew he had to act like Giichi Takahashi, and what he would do was to show his ignorance and tell he can't solve this question.
But what about his dignity as God of this world? He could remember the rules he had restricted himself to; he promised himself to not break those conditions.
But, but still—
"We can't wait all day for you." Mr. Yagami complained.
It was impossible for Giichi to solve this question, though God could simply do it.
He didn't want to be known stupid; even with knowing that they would give this title to Giichi and not him, he couldn't accept it.
"What should I do?" he thought.
If he was wise enough as he thought of himself to be, he would simply put his pride aside and say "I don't know", though then, this kid would show his ignorance due to the wisdom of God.
Finally, he convinced himself to not show any change in the attitude of Giichi Takahashi.
"I d-don't know..."