6 The Unforgivable Sin of Suicide
Giichi found himself in his bed — again. He had become quite familiar with this scene, waking up and realizing he has to get ready for going to school.
Because of the existence of "sleeping" process in living creatures, he could no longer distinguish the reality from imagination — becoming totally insane due to it.
It was hard for God to get used to this — as for many other things. But as time passed, he began to stop caring about it. It didn't matter if it was real or not since nothing significant would happen in his real life as Giichi Takahashi.
However, all of those matters weren't important right now. What he had dreamed during that night — or what had actually happened — was unusually different from before.
— Two men with soutane-like clothes had walked into the house —
He couldn't remember much of their characteristics; everything had happened so fast that his brain didn't have time to realize the situation.
If this were the reality, then his life would completely change. Those men — whoever they were — had an objective in coming there. Whatever it was, one could easily guess there was no goodwill behind it.
Many mysteries would show up if he accepted it as reality, as numerous questions would also appear in his mind.
—Who are those guys?
—What do they want?
—Why did they leave?
—Are they watching him right now?
—What's going to happen?
But what if it was actually a dream? What then?
He no longer had the ability to completely identify the reality. Hence, he wasn't sure if it had actually happened or not.
"No," Giichi mumbled as he then put a giggle on his face, "it wasn't a dream."
He was looking at his table at the side of the room. There were several objects with different structures. What had fascinated him was the table lamp among all those other things; it had been taken down horizontally.
This perspective was the reason for that chuckle on Giichi's face.
"So, it has truly happened."
Suddenly, he came down from his bed and hurriedly started to leave his room. Like every day, he saw his mother preparing him a breakfast. This sight was also quite familiar to Giichi Takahashi's eyes.
Now that he knew those men had actually entered here, this place wasn't safe anymore. Although Akane was outside at that time, still they could have waited for her to come back.
When Giichi was wearing his uniform and preparing for school, he thought about the current situation simultaneously.
—Why should they leave us?
—No, perhaps they're not gone.
—They must have been watching us.
Right then, he didn't have the necessary information to reach the right conclusion. The ignorance, again, had stood in his way.
Nevertheless, not thinking at all would be more unacceptable.
Staying at that house was dangerous — since they could come at any time — but leaving this place was much more perilous. If those people figured out about their move to another place, it would bring too much trouble; he couldn't run from them forever.
The wisest choice was to remain quiet and don't show any sign — of his awareness — to those people.
While contemplating those thoughts, he didn't notice his body already had done all of the preparations instinctively. After saying "goodbye" to Akane — and kissing her cheek — he left the house.
The bus hadn't arrived yet; hence, he started to think meanwhile.
"They have possessed some kind of spiritual power," he paused, another thought struck him.
"So my knowledge as God is still useful."
After putting a light smile, Giichi Takahashi looked at the sky.
"As I remember, there were two kinds of paranormal abilities in the mortal world, magical powers and spiritual powers. Wizards had possessed magic, and the priests could use spiritual abilities."
Of course, that would be true if he were actually "God"; otherwise, those words were just some made up thoughts. But now with all of the things which had happened, it would be impossible for them to be "made up". Everything was supporting the existence of God.
He still had some knowledge from his past self; as a result, Giichi Takahashi could use it right then.
Giichi knew he and his mother are both in a dangerous state, but God was unbelievably excited.
Finally, after weeks of the normal life, he had experienced something new; something that was worth it.
Yet, it was still too soon to become thrilled by these emotions.
By the time that he had done thinking about those events, Giichi could see a bus getting close to his location.
♦ ♦ ♦
Mr. Yagami wasn't present on that day, and neither would he be in the future. Giichi heard he had died from a heart attack.
It was just as to be expected, although it happened intrusively. He was a retired teacher, even though he liked to come and take a class for teaching once in a while, and the school also didn't dislike having such an experienced educator.
And now that no teacher was available for calculus, the manager put Noburo Okamoto in that position — insomuch as he was quite brilliant in his lessons.
The truth was that he couldn't control the students. No one actually took him seriously. While the atmosphere of the classroom was filled with random words of students, someone shouted:
"Hey! Everyone be quiet!"
This voice belonged to Noburo.
— Still, no one gave him attention —
"I said silence!"
The second time he screamed, a girl began to turn her eyes at him.
She was Sakura Watanabe who again teased Noburo with using the word "pervert". It had become a habit of her since she liked repeating it.
"What?! Whom are you calling pervert?" Noburo furiously responded as he reduced the gap between him and her.
"See, pervert teacher, no one's going to notice you!"
— Sakura brought her face closer to Noburo's —
"What!?" Noburo frowned.
While those two were glaring at each other with that angry expression on their face, Noburo put on a wicked smile as he adjusted his glasses.
"So, you're telling me they notice you instead?" he tauntingly asked.
"What," Sakura paused, "of course! Who doesn't want to be taught by me? Unlike a pervert like you, I'm truly brilliant."
"You're so full of yourself!"
The air around Noburo and Sakura had become so aggressive. While those hostile looks were scowling at each other extremely, they made many students worry at the same time.
Giichi Takahashi, however, felt totally different about it. What he could see was the fight between two friends who had been so close together.
Noburo and Sakura were childhood friends. Even though, they would never stop fighting over ridiculous things. Giichi thought that was a sign of their friendship somehow; he would always smile while watching them argue.
By the time that both of them had become tired, Noburo tightened his necktie and coughed.
"Alright everyone, if you let me..." Noburo formally said as he was looking at the other students.
When everyone — except Sakura — nodded in agreement, he began to start the class as the calculus teacher.
Giichi didn't give attention to what Noburo was saying — as always, neither did he notice Hikaru who had stared at him.
Followed by a sigh, he rested his chin on his left hand. Giichi Takahashi started to think deeply as his face put on a pensive expression.
Hikaru, who meantime had sat beside him, was so captivated by his elegance that she couldn't understand anything from Noburo's words either. She also had her hand pressing her cheek, though her face — and that charmed look of hers — would imply different emotions.
—What is Lord thinking about?
She asked that in her thoughts. While tightening her eyes, Hikaru answered herself — again in her imagination.
"No, an inferior servant, like me, shouldn't ask such things about the Lord."
Notwithstanding that God's superiority was unquestionable in her view, she had some questions coming and going through her mind. There was no way that something would happen without the authority of the Lord's will. So, she had to accept it as a part of the divine plan.
Still, why should God do such a thing? Why would he decide to live as a human?
There had to be a reason behind it, but what was it? She couldn't understand anything about Lord's actions.
—There has to be a reason.
While repeating it numerously in her mind, a sudden thought occurred to her:
"If everything's going according to God's plans, then am I allowed to interrupt?"
Her eyes widened abruptly.
"No, obviously everything has to go like that. But does it mean my actions are also a part of the divine plan? Am I being tested?"
This always was confusing her in the past.
—What meaning is behind my life?
—What should I do to not dissatisfy the supreme one?
Even with the passage of time, those questions had remained unanswered for her.
Hikaru had gone so deep in thought that she didn't notice time passing right then.
A surprised sound — the sound of the school bell — moved her out of that profound thought. As Giichi walked out of the place, Hikaru followed him simultaneously.
The rest of the school time passed, while Hikaru's eye had been fixed on the human form of the Lord, like all those other days.
It was what Hikaru would call a "normal" school day. Every second that her eyes were watching something other than him, or every moment that her mind was thinking about something else, that would be called "abnormal" by her.
She wanted to follow Giichi when he left the school, but this time something unprecedented happened.
Instead of getting on the bus, Giichi Takahashi decided to walk all the way to home.
It had never been like this as long as Hikaru — who always had been chasing him — remembered.
When Hikaru started to follow him — as usual — she was trying to hide to not attract Giichi's attention.
He didn't seem normal — Hikaru could tell that. Walking such a distance to home wasn't what Giichi normally would do.
But what she figured out after following him was much more unexpected. He wasn't walking toward his home; Giichi had chosen a totally different path to go through.
Even after hours of the walk, there was no trace of fatigue on Hikaru's face. She could calmly continue following him.
The afternoon had already changed with the evening. It was impossible to behold the beautiful scene of a sunset due to those enormous numbers of buildings in the way.
However, anyone could identify this by looking at the dim sky. The presence of dark was implying the absence of light.
The black clouds started to appear in that dark sky, bringing heavy rain with themselves.
Hikaru's uniform became soaked immediately. Her face didn't imply she would care about it; all of her attention was on the person whom she had been following.
The rain-soaked hair of hers would come in her sight, though it couldn't stop her by any means.
Giichi suddenly stood in front of a building, an under-construction one. It also made her stop and watch him as he entered inside. While slowly strolling toward it, Hikaru finally began to ask questions.
—What is he going to do?
After going through those incomplete stairs, she reached the highest existent floor. In front of her had stood Giichi Takahashi, on the edge of the building.
Her eyes widened instantly after seeing that picture. The scene before her had made Hikaru completely speechless as she looked at it in astonishment.
— God wanted to suicide —
A tremendous flash of lightning sparkled intensely. It was followed by overwhelming thunder.
It seemed sky couldn't sit in its place while observing such a thing. Heavens were roaring and crying, begging for him to stop what he desired to do.
"H-he wants to suicide??" wide-eyed Hikaru mumbled.
Although she wanted to say "there should be a reason behind this", it sounded inconceivable at that moment.
No matter who, everyone who committed suicide would burn in hell forever. This was what the Lord himself had declared officially.
She wanted to stop him, but how could she do it? Stopping what God wanted to do wasn't permissible in any possible way.
"Am I being examined?" Hikaru thought.
She paused, trying to find an answer.
"If yes, then what should I do? Should I save him...?"
As Hikaru struggled to find an absolutely right choice, she couldn't be certain. If Lord wanted her to save Giichi Takahashi, she had to interrupt what God had planned to do. If he actually had planned to suicide, it would have been totally insupportable.
While these blasphemous thoughts were occurring to her, frightened Hikaru could see Giichi stepping forward.
— What should she do? —
♦ ♦ ♦
The drops of rain falling from the sky had entirely soaked him. Every inch of his human body could feel wet. The Heavens had become chaotic.
But that was nothing due to the chaos inside of him. It had been crushing him from the moment he used to live in this cursed world.
He had been alright at morning, he didn't understand why such a thought suddenly came to his mind. The reality was the only thing he could completely believe; everything else was doubtful.
He had no mental balance, as he would think differently every moment. That itself was a proof for his insanity.
"Being God, such nonsense..." Giichi mumbled.
Those eyes had contained various emotions with themselves, pain, despair, aversion, hate, and sadness.
"Well, there's only one way to find out..." he looked down.
The moment he shut those eyes, Giichi Takahashi opened his arms.
With the arms wide open, Giichi lightened his body and then began to fall.
He couldn't hear the rain anymore. There was only one sound which could be heard.
— The call of death —
The closer he was getting to the ground, the louder it would reach his ears. Giichi Takahashi couldn't run from this fate.
In the last seconds of his life, he observed two black wings flapping above his head.
A figure could be seen between those wings.
—Angel of death, huh...
Those were the last words of him, as he then hit the ground with his head.
Before losing his consciousness, an unclear voice filled the atmosphere:
"[Flames of Protection]"
After feeling a warmth — the last feeling of his life — Giichi Takahashi died.