675 A Million Times for You 37
After giving it some thought, Jin Qingyan was still rather apprehensive and said, "When I first heard your reply, I was certain that you had let the masks go to waste. But now that I think about it, how could a penny-pincher like you bear to throw them away?"
An Xiaoning was not at all guilty over having her lie exposed. She changed the subject and struggled to break free from his grip. "Let go of me."
However, he vehemently refused to budge, displeased and annoyed at the thought of her having gone on several dates with Ji Yu.
He lowered his head and planted an electrifying kiss on An Xiaoning's neck that sent chills down her spine, causing her to tense up and freeze in shock.
She continued to be stuck in his embrace, unable to struggle at all.
"I don't want to let go of you anymore. Our son was running a fever, and Shixin brought him to the hospital to get an injection today. When he came home, he told me that he had dreamed of you and that he finds children who don't have mothers are the most pitiful."
All of a sudden, he slipped an arm beneath An Xiaoning's knees and carried her into the car before closing the door, greatly startling her.
"Don't provoke me any further," she warned.
He did not answer and instead placed his warm fingers onto her face and caressed her brows gently.
An Xiaoning remained quiet.
She felt a strong urge to escape the small space they were confined in. She could not help but find it hard to breathe, especially since their bodies were in such a position.
An Xiaoning was extremely ill at ease.
"Why didn't you tell me that our son was running a fever? What do you mean motherless children are pitiful…? He has a mother, of course," said An Xiaoning, filled with misery at the thought of her son.
Noticing that a lump had formed in her throat and she was about to tear up, Jin Qingyan regretted telling her what Jin Yiheng had said.
"Shall we reconcile?" he asked.
An Xiaoning looked up at him, overwhelmed with a mix of emotions. "I can't… let the rest of my life be in doldrums for the sake of our son. Jin Qingyan, I've already lost all faith in our relationship; neither do I still have any more hope in our marriage. I've been deprived of love and a sense of security to begin with, and I've always been the only one for myself. Even when I was married to you, I was still aware of the possibility of losing you one day and no longer getting to rely on you for love and comfort. You told me to scram without taking a single cent from you, and you even forced me to give up the custody of our son. Don't make empty promises and tell me that that won't happen again. I'm already thirty years old, no longer a naive and gullible twenty-year-old hopeless romantic. I hope you'll face reality and recognize the issues that exist between us. Once you've broken my trust, there'll be cracks in our relationship, like a broken mirror that cannot be repaired."
As soon as she finished speaking, he stopped moving his fingers and retracted his hand.
Clearly, he had made sense of everything she said.
"I'm willing to give you everything I have to offer if it can change your mind. If you don't feel secure, I'll bequeath all my assets and possessions to you. I don't want anything at all. Will that do?" he said solemnly.
Tears began to flow from An Xiaoning's reddened eyes, and her teardrops rolled down her face and toward her neck.
"No," she answered coldly.
Filled with panic and anxiety, Jin Qingyan grabbed her hand tightly and said, "I won't take no for an answer. I'll prove to you that I'll never distrust you again. Xiaoning, trust me."
An Xiaoning pulled her hand out of his and remained silent.
Noticing her reaction, Jin Qingyan tried to give himself an out and said, "I won't force you or compel you to do anything against your wishes anymore, but could you treat me like a friend and allow me to go out for meals with you? We could play pool or just hang out."
"I can't treat you the same as I do others."
Jin Qingyan was not sure if he should feel happy or devastated to hear her answer.
Before he could even respond, An Xiaoning continued, "You're the father of my child. That fact alone makes you different from others. From now on, I'll always just see you as the father of my child, nothing more. So please, do just treat me as the mother of your child. Don't harbor any ideas or carry hopes for something more."
Jin Qingyan's heart sank to rock bottom. Her words meant clearly that she had already given up on him and had no plans to reconcile with him again.
"Seems like there's still a long way for me to go. Since you're not willing to become friends with me again, don't blame me for forcing myself on you. You'll forever be mine."
An Xiaoning scoffed and retorted, "How are you any different from Ye Xiaotian? You may see yourself as Ye Xiaotian, but I'll never be like Mo Li. Jin Qingyan, I just can't be bothered to fight you physically. It won't be nice if the paparazzi snap some photos of us and write an article about a twice-divorced couple getting into a brawl on the streets."
He chuckled sarcastically and said, "I was just making a casual remark. Honestly, how many times have I compelled you? If I really wanted to force myself on you, we would've gotten intimate several times by now."
"What a shameless scoundrel."
"I'm only like that when it comes to you. I'm a gentleman to other women."
"As if I'd believe you."
"I'm serious, you're the only person I force myself on."
An Xiaoning felt her face turn red and hot with embarrassment. She glowered at him and said, "I'm going back now, let go."
He let go of her and allowed her to alight.
He then drove his car away while staring at the reflection of her red Ferrari on his rearview mirror. He then looked down at the hand he used to touch her waist with earlier.
God knows how desperately he'd wanted to reach his hand beneath her clothes. Yet, he'd curbed his urges and suffered in silence.
It's tough being a man.
That night, Jin Qingyan had an erotic dream, during which he and An Xiaoning were getting intimate in the car with a burning passion. He then woke up to realize that he had wet his bed with his ejaculation and stared blankly in shock before getting out of bed to clean up.
Call it telepathy, or perhaps even a coincidence. An Xiaoning, too, had a dream about Jin Qingyan.
She could not remember the exact details of the dream, though she knew that it revolved around him. By the time she woke up in the morning, she felt like her mind was exhausted.
Although she had gotten eight hours of sleep last night, she was still sleepy and fatigued, as if she did not catch a wink at all. She dragged her heavy feet around the house while walking on an unsteady gait.
"Did you catch a cold?" Lin Mingxi asked, noticing that she seemed unwell. After putting a hand on her forehead, Lin Mingxi continued, "You're not running a fever, though."
"I had a long dream last night, and my brain couldn't rest at all. I guess that's why I'm still tired."
"What did you dream of? Spill it, quick," the gossipy Lin Mingxi probed, as curious as a cat.
"I forgot," An Xiaoning answered, holding a cup of warm water in her hand.
"You went on a date with Major Ji last night. Has there been any progress between you two yet?"
"It's not a date, it was just a casual outing between friends. We just went for dinner and a game of pool. I never fail to bump into Jin Qingyan whenever I'm out with Ji Yu. That was the case at the cinemas and at Luo Er Lake. It happened again last night too," An Xiaoning said in an unhurried manner while leaning against the table.
Lin Mingxi's jaw dropped in shock. "You mean he popped up out of nowhere whenever you were in the midst of enjoying yourself with Ji Yu?"
"You're finished. That's the first move men make when they want you back. He's thinking of courting you all over again," Lin Mingxi said in all seriousness.